Grandma Beth

Coral Beth Stoddard Skidmore of Richmond died on Monday, April 14, 2014, after a courageous eight week battle with an acute systemic infection. I am amazed at her will, she fought and she fought hard, but that MRSA was one nasty bug that she just was too weak to conquer. I just wanted to share a bit of her journey so I can remember and I can remind my children and grandchildren how amazing she was. Before I recap I would just like to get off my chest that there are a lot of medical professionals that mis-diagnosed or screwed up. If someone would have just taken a culture this whole thing would have been avoided, yeah she still would have dealt with cancer and chemo and radiation, but in reality that was a breeze compared to all this. However, I am choosing not to blame anyone, as I know that there is a rhyme and a reason for every trial. I will forgive, people do make mistakes, but I hope that a few people learned a lesson and this very same thing won't happen to someone else. 

THE BATTLE:

Grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer in November of 2013. She had surgery first. They removed the cancer and a few lymph nodes that were affected as well. they determined from the biopsy of the lymph nodes that she needed to have radiation and chemo. So plans were put in place. She had a minor outpatient surgery to put a port in. No big deal, no initial complications but oh how that port would cause some serious problems. 1st round of chemotherapy- she was nauseated, and had a loss of appetite for about 5 days. She was tough and of course there was not much complaining. Started to loose her hair around day 10. No big deal however because she already had a stellar wig:) She got a fever and developed a rash around her port, took her into the Dr, he removed some residual stitches and then gave her an antibiotic- if he only would have taken a swab that day. The rash subsided and so she went on to get the next round of chemo. Same drill. Same initial symptoms, except her right knee started to hurt, it was swollen, we iced it, took some ibuprofen it started to feel a little better, she took the kids to the jump zone because they didn't have school on Monday February 17. We were there with her and she seemed to be doing better. Still nauseated and weak but felt ok. Then by Wednesday she had had a fever and couldn't move, her right arm was extremely swollen, knee hurt and was swollen as well. Went to the knee doc, he x-rayed them said they were fine. Then Wednesday night her fever was still there and she literally could not move. It took a miracle to get her to the Cancer Doctor the next day because she could not move. The Cancer doctor said it was not related to the cancer and she better go to the emergency room. After all day in emergency room they admitted her. Took a bunch of blood samples and we waited. Then the news came,....  MRSA....... and it was in her blood, she was septic. It was in her port. They took it out immediately, as it was pulled out my grandma could see pus and crud just coming out with it. She has two artificial knees and sure enough they aspirated those and they were full of infection. They tried to flush them, she felt better the next day, but wasn't improving much. Test after test, and day after day, she pushed. After a week in Logan they did an MRI of her spine again and they infection was in there too, so they moved her to the IHC hospital in Murray. They claimed to be much more qualified to help her. They kept the AB's going, she had her knee's out they put AB spacers in. Then they shipped her out to LDS promise which is basically a rest home with Doctors- kind of. We were not impressed and they did not give grandma the care she deserved. She started to have an extreme pain in her abdomen and was having a hard time breathing. She explained her symptoms but everyone seemed to come up with some little reason why it could be happening. Then Tara happened to see her white count on her chart and it had gone way up. She started to ask questions and then they finally started to listen, she had acquired pneumonia as well. They started her on different AB's. By this time she was getting very discouraged. We all were. Then she lost feeling in her legs. Did an MRI of spine and sure enough the infection had compressed her spine and paralyzed her. Nuero-surgeon came in wanted to do surgery to try to alleviate pressure and possibly restore feeling. Grandma agreed to try one last thing. They moved her to Murray again and performed the surgery, it was a long one, the doctor felt good about it, but the next days would reveal no increase in movement or feeling in legs. Then fluid in the lungs. She was tired and after a family meeting with Doc's and the family and grandma she was able to communicate to them she was done. She was ready to go. She was in the ICU for a few days then they moved her to a comfort room. She lasted about a week, was pretty coherent he whole time and was able to see a lot of her family and spend time with them. She went peacefully and quietly. I was able to spend time with her several times, I braided her hair, she taught me to play her favorite game Majong titans and read some of her missionary emails. I was glad to be able to stay with her. But when it came to saying goodbye to my grandma- it was hard. One of the hardest things I have ever done. But I wouldn't have it any other way, I was able to tell her I loved her and thank her for being the best grandma ever. I was SO lucky to have her as long as I did. It was sooner then we all liked but she is dancing with grandpa and now we have another guardian angel. 

 Coral Beth Stoddard Skidmore of Richmond died on Monday, April 14, 2014, after a courageous eight week battle with an acute systemic infection. She was born April 22, l934, in Logan, Utah, the fifth child of Inez Evelyn Thompson and Irwin Stoddard.

Beth was raised in Richmond, attended Park Elementary, Lewiston Jr. High and graduated from North Cache High School. In 1956, she graduated with honors from Utah State Agricultural College (Utah State University) with a degree in Social Work. She graduated from the LDS Institute of Religion being honored as the student speaker with President David O. McKay. She was inducted into Alpha Lambda Delta and Phi Kappa Phi honors fraternities, and was active in student leadership activities at the University. 

She married Claine Bullen Skidmore in Richmond in 1956. The marriage was solemnized in the Logan LDS Temple in 1975. They met when they were asked to be the ward dance directors, and they kept right on dancing. Together and working side by side, they owned and operated the family farm, while holding down a full time job and raising their children. 

She is survived by five children, Jill (Mel) Erickson of Soldotna, Alaska; Julie (Bruce) Godderidge of Smithfield, Utah; Lori Webb (Matt) Allred, of Idaho Falls, Idaho; Brook (Shaunna) Skidmore; and Tara (Judd) Hillyard of Richmond, a sister, Afton (Guy) Buttars, as well as 14 grandchildren, eight step-grandchildren, and 16 great-grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her husband, a son, Bret Irwin, son-in-law Lynn H. Webb, brothers, Irwin "Rip"(Della) Stoddard, William Mack (Darlene) Stoddard, Dan Warren (Ira Lu) Stoddard, a brother-in-law, Guy L. Buttars, and her parents.
Beth worked several secretarial jobs while pursuing her education, including with Veterans Administration in Albuquerque, N.M., Metro Goldwyn Meyer Studios in Culver City, Calif., and Utah State University. She held licensure as a Certified Social Worker and retired after 35 years of service with the State of Utah Division of Services to the Handicapped and the Division of Child and Family Services. At the time of her retirement, she was the supervisor over Child Protection Services for Cache-Rich Counties. She cared deeply for her co-workers and the respect was reciprocated. Beth was a tireless advocate for children, the people with disabilities, and those needing a helping hand. While a state employee she received many awards, including Utah State Legislature Distinguished Service award, finalist for the Earl Condor Award, Outstanding Public Employee of the Year for the State of Utah, community service award from the Logan City Police Department, and District I Supervisor of the Year. She served on the governing boards for the Utah Public Employees Association, Salvation Army, Center for Persons with Disabilities at Utah State University and Head Start.
Beth was appointed Justice Court Judge for the Richmond City Court and served in that capacity for 21 years. After mandatory retirement at age 75, she was approved as a Senior Judge.
Beth was a member and had many callings in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, teaching Primary, Young Women, Sunday School and Relief Society, and leading music in Primary, Relief Society and choir. She had a strong testimony and love of the Savior. She was a very private and independent person, who tried to always solve the problems and provide the care for those she loved by herself. She enjoyed good music, classical opera and musical theater, reading good books, crossword puzzles, a leisurely horseback ride, association and lunch dates with dear old friends and cooking for her family. Her most precious gifts and greatest joys were her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She delighted in and supported their accomplishments, shared their heartaches and adversities and had a personal and very special loving relationship with each one. 

Funeral services will be at noon Saturday, April 19, in the Richmond LDS Stake Center, 135 W. Main. A viewing will be from 6-8 p.m. Friday at the Richmond Stake Center, and from 10:30-11:30 a.m. Saturday also at the stake center. Interment will be in the Richmond Cemetery. Funeral arrangements are under the direction of Webb Mortuary of Preston, Idaho. 

Her funeral services were beautiful and I know she was not disappointed. Everyone did very well. Cortni spoke and did superb. I wanted to include a copy of her talk. 

Growing up I was lucky to live close enough to grandma’s house that we could visit her on most Sunday afternoons and evenings. I have many memories of sitting in her living room, or on her back porch, talking and laughing with my family and listening to grandma and grandpa share stories, listen to ours, and give us advice. Me and my family have been living in Phoenix, Arizona for the last 4 years and what I wouldn’t do for at least one more Sunday visit to grandma’s house.

Grandma was the most unselfish person many of us have ever known. The needs and wants of her grandkids always came first. I was never afraid to ask her for anything and always new it would come with a quick response. We would usually want something in her fridge or cupboards and when we asked for permission to have something she usually jumped to her feet to help us get whatever it was we wanted, even if she was comfortably positioned on the chair in her living room on a Sunday evening.

Another memory I will always have of Grandma is how excited she was to hear that my daughter Presley would be named after her.  It made her feel so special and each time I look at my Presley Beth I will always remember grandma.

When I was in gradeschool, I made an Christmas angel pin and gave it to my grandma for Christmas. There wasn’t one Christmas after I gave it to her that she didn’t have it pinned to her shirt. My own mom even asked her this year if she could borrow it to attach to her ugly sweater that she had to wear at another Christmas party.  It was a treasure to my grandma and she showed her love for me by wearing it every year, even if it did belong on an ugly Christmas sweater.

We all knew that Grandma was very proud of each of us and she enjoyed supporting us in the various activities we participated in.  As long as she was invited to attend, she would be there to support  and cheer us on. She has attended numerous dance recitals, gymnastics meets, basketball & soccer games, piano recitals, golf tournaments, orchestra and band concerts, and her most proud moments have been at high school and college graduations. We all knew how important education was to her and she was a great example to us with all of her educational and professional accomplishments.

Another memory I have of my grandma is her traveling to St. George every year to cheer on my mom and dad and anyone else who was crazy enough to run the St. George Marathon.  My mom has been running it for 17 years and my grandma has never missed a single one. I will never forget how year after year she would hike straight up snow canyon to get to the spot where we would watch the runners come down the canyon. She never wanted us to push her in a wheelchair or help her in any way. She was determined to hike up that mountain all by herself. And she did it year after year.

Grandma was also very good at listening and giving advice. Even when she was in the hospital these last few weeks, and not feeling well, she didn’t hesitate to tell my sister Whitli how she felt about the decisions she was facing in her life. She was trying to decide whether or not to take a job in Arizona and come and be closer to my family and me or to move to Provo. My grandma told her it sounded like she had a tough decision to make…either to have a career or have lots of boys from BYU chasing her. She was always there to listen and even if we didn’t like her honest opinions, we knew she just wanted us to be happy.

Although I have many more stories to share about my grandma, there are many more what I call “little things” that we will always remember about her. My sister Britni wrote a poem about my grandpa and shared it at his funeral so I thought it would only be fair to do the same thing for my grandma.

She was the queen of editing our school papers though and she was honest about something if she didn’t like it, so I hope she will forgive me for my run on sentences and improper grammar.  So here it goes.

Although we have lot’s of memories of our dear sweet Grandma Beth,

It’s the little things about her, we will always cherish in her death.

The time we had with Grandma Skidmore will never be enough,

The many things she did for us were much more than just “stuff.”

We knew we could ask Grandma anything, even whisper a request in her ear,

Her response was always answered with “What can I get you dear?”

If we ever ran into trouble she was quick to be on our side,

When we needed advice or a paper edited, to her we would confide.

She loved to wear anything blue and high heels on her feet when she could,

We were very proud to call her our Grandma because she always looked so good.

Her black wig was her trademark, without it to the store she wouldn’t go,

She was even known by all our friends as the grandma with the “fro.”

The smells that filled her kitchen consisted of many gourmet dishes,

She never left our stomachs empty or our cheeks without her kisses.

Her hugs were the best and perfectly timed for when we needed them most,

Her smile and laugh were often heard, and of her grandchildren she would boast.

Endless amounts of peanut M&Ms were rarely eaten by few,

She loved all foods and was most often seen drinking Diet Mt. Dew.

Solitaire and crossword puzzles were always a top her table,

Piled under was farm paperwork that she would get to when she was able.

Her love for the arts was recognized by all who knew her best,

Accompanying her to an Opera was always a yearly request.

We will never forget our trips to Star Valley that brought the family together,

The many memories we made with each other will be with us forever.

Special occasions were her specialty; she never missed sending a birthday card,

Breaking open the piñata at her Christmas parties was always super hard.

We know her heart was broken when she lost her other half,

She took good care of grandpa and he always made her laugh.

Now they are reunited with their precious baby boy Brett,

We are sure they are dancing in heaven just like the first time they met.

The little things that made her special will always be remembered

She taught us many valuable things that will be always treasured.

We will miss her and we love her but we know she is in peace,

We can’t wait to be with her again and have a great big feast.

Then my mom and Brook sang a beautiful duet. My mom played the guitar, it was amazing. I wanted to include the words to the song they sang as it was perfect. 

DANCING WITH ANGELS

 Memories surround me

But sadness has found me

I'd do anything for more time

Never before has someone meant more

And I can't get you out of my mind

There is so much that I don't understand

But I know

Chorus:

You're dancing with the angels

Walking in new life

You're dancing with the angels

Heaven fills your eyes

Now that you're dancing with the angels

You had love for your family

Love for all people

Love for the Father, and Son

Your heart will be heard

In your unspoken words

Through generations to come

There is so much that I don't understand

But I know

Chorus

Bridge:

We're only here for such a short time

So I'm gonna stand up

Shout out

And sing Hallelujah

One day I'll see you again

Grandma we love you and hope to make you proud, may your wonderful legacy live on.